We have moved!!

Visit me at www.cynkim.blogspot.com

See you there!!! Muacks…

 

Lady GaGa or Scary GaGa?

I was browsing through the net as usual and something really odd caught my attention. My jaw dropped, my eyes were wide-opened and I need to . Apparently, the 23-year old Paparazzi’s singer shocked the world with her weird fashion style. Despite her special talent and amazing voice, her fashion sense has been sending chills down everyone’s spines. Better yet, someone should give her a Red Carpet fashion award instead of Grammy.

This D&G lacey see-through dress is supposed to be seen in the bedroom. Plus the temperature in London right now is not so favourable.

Oh no! Someone please bring her a bathrobe and careful of those multiple sharp spikes coz they might poke your eyes.

Goose pimples, goose pimples and more goose pimples. Thank goodness this is not Pakistan. People may think that she has disfigured face.

The mother of all unleashed spirits of the year, Ghost GaGa. Michael Jackson’s movie director, Mr. Ortega might consider her in their “Thriller” music video.

Ghost GaGa, we admire you for your talent, mesmerise by your voice, and salute you for your courageness. All hail, Ghost GaGa!

 

 

 

 

Why “Holy” Kamasutra???

If you considered yourself as open-minded, you are most welcome but if you are not……I do not forbid but discourage.

Okay, allow me to explain what Kamasutra is all about. It is an ancient Sanskrit text giving rules for sensuous and sensual pleasure to partners as well as love and marriage in accordance with Hindu law. Most of the classic mistakes people offend that Kamasutra is a pornography material emphasizing on sex positions, explicit illustrations, and etc.

Why “Holy” Kamasutra you may ask? Read along:

Reason 1: You will always stay awake reading/ fantasizing/ imagining yourself as the man/woman in the illustrations.

Reason 2: Men can say “bye-bye” to his good friend named Viagra because he has found a new friend by the name of Kamasutra. How magical!

Reason 3: Prostitutes can level up their skills and make more money by practising the yoga-like positions. So do not sulk when they make more money than you.

Reason 4: Divorce cases will decrease if the teachings of Hindu law is abide. Lawyers may have lesser case to handle.

Reason 5: An ideal gift for everyone be it your colleagues, friends, bed buddies, and family members.

Reason 6: Perfect book to be placed by the bedside in case it will come in handy for him or for her.

Reason 7: Men, knock some senses in their heads. Do not imagine yourself sleeping with a NUN.

Reason 8: Women will bathe more often than usual as men hate women with bad smell (as purported in the original Kamasutra). Is that true? Well..you be your own judge.

But do be mean like this guy over here.

Reason 9:  You shouldn’t involve in incest or any sexual relation with your near relationship (family members).

Reason 10: Yoga classes will receive extremely positive feedbacks with the escalating numbers of new registered members.

 

Reason 11: Everybody has the potential to be a porn star if they master the yoga-like positions from Kamasutra.

 

Reason 12: Women Aid Organization (WAO) will ‘chap lap’ because men respect women and domestic violence is zero, sexual harassment, molestation, and manipulation.

Reason 13: Recipe books are replaced with Kamasutra as it teaches how wives should cook for their husbands (as purported in the original Kamasutra).

Reason 14: Gays and lesbians will be extinct. They realise butt hole or dildo are no longer interesting.

Reason 15: Kids started to learn the theory of the “birds and bees ” early (maybe even before puberty) if their textbooks are replaced with this “Holy Grail” in schools.

Reason 16: Parents wouldn’t need to spend time cracking heads thinking of how to give sex education to children.

Reason 17: Men and women are equally satisfied with their partner’s bed performance (as they know where to stimulate).

Reason 18: Paris Hilton will forever and only be Paris Hilton because everybody scores an equal chance of being Paris Hilton (watch video “A Night in Paris”).

Reason 19: Adultery and infidelity are at its minimum keeping sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) at bay.

 

Reason 20: Those who do not have partners, do not fret. Master Yoga will educate you well enough (self-stimulating) to do this:

                                                                                                                                                                                                     Woman

 

I guess her face should be away from us. Wrong direction.

 

Man

Oh please advise him to make a little more effort to tilt his head.

 

-The purported reasons here are fictional and for entertainment purpose only
-Further non-fiction details can be googled using the keyword “Kamasutra or Kama Sutra”

9-Day Glorious China Trip – Part 1

Destination: Guangzhou, Beijing, Tianjin, Hebei, Cangzhou

Date: 27 Nov 08 – 5 Dec 08

Season: Winter

Temperature: Day – 2-5 degree Celcius, Night: minus 10 – minus 15 degree

Total budget: RM3K (partially subsidised)

Winter gear: Winter coat (possibly long to cover lower part of your body), Face mask, Bobble hat, Sweater, Boots, Gloves, Cotton scarf, Thermal earmuffs, Long johns, a pair of jeans.

 

China is not always in my destination list if you asked me but for some reasons I am glad that I was given the opportunity to be in the delegation in support of  China cultural and educational exchange. The core objectives of this programme are to strengthen ties between China and Malaysia universities and at the same time foster the long-term collaborative efforts, educational and cultural resources that will benefits involved parties. 60 delegates including lecturers were all set to go on 27th November 2008 (almost a year ago).

 

*I spent Day 1 and Day 2 mainly on travelling so it might be a little dry for Day 1 and 2*

Day 1 (27th Nov 08)

After the press photo-taking session, the delegates were divided into two buses and off we go to the Low Cost Carrier Terminal (LCCT) for catch the flight with AirAsia.The return air tickets were not too expensive mainly because we gained sponsors from university, private companies and donations from the public. After 7 hours of bumpy ride in the bus, we finally arrived at LCCT. If you have extra time before boarding, there are a bundle of facilities that will buy you some time off. Do check out the eateries (Mc D’s, Coffee Bean, KFC, Mary Brown, The Chocolate Boutique, Old Town), duty-free shops, convenient stores (7-eleven), foreign exchange counters and most of all……”space” for people like us to shoot a few syok sendiri photos.

  Ladies, just smile and wave

Day 2 (28th Nov 08)

We spent 2 hours making a bee-line thronging the check-in counters for our luggages. A decent amount of RM10 will be collected as your luggages are being sat on the conveyor. After a long tiring hours, finally we boarded Airbus AK114 at 5am. I have to admit flying on budget plane is definitely something not to my liking. The aisle is very narrow, the seat is small and the feeling of being a Siamese twin with the person next to me was totally an unpleasant experience.

 

View outside the Guangzhou Baiyun International Airport

After 3 hours of flying, I landed in the sub-provincial city, Guangzhou, formerly known as Canton. Guangzhou Baiyun International Airport is as crowded as purported and to my surprise most of the employees speak Cantonese. And I will go ??????!!!!!!!!!!???????? tiu. While waiting for our tour guide (ground arrangement from China) to collect all her “babies”, we headed down to McD’s. Yum yum. I paid 12.95 yuan (about RM7.50) for a set of China McChicken version. They have other meal selections like pork burger, nai cha (milk tea), yam and peach pies and etc.

Majority are locals waiting for the passengers to arrive. Can you see the Mc D’s sign at the far end?

After 2 hours of long waiting, we travelled on a bus to Guangzhou Railway Station. I could not agree more if someone were to complain about the road traffic in Guangzhou. You go horrified with terrible traffic . We managed to bypass the bumper-to-bumper crawl scene to the railway station. The moment we put up at the designated place, I was startled dumbfounded to see the overwhelming crowd making a bee-line just to board the train! I have been praying hard enough for stampede not to happen that day.

The pontential stampeders getting ready for headlong rush

Then it was our turn to get into the train. After a crazy morning, battles through the jam, we were already in the train. This time, I was not dumbfounded but devastated to see my “pigeon hole”. The room is utterly small, the aisle is ……… speechless. Or maybe it is trying to prove that I am fat!

These carriages travel at 110km/h for 22 hours to Beijing.

The walking aisle in the carriage is very limited

 P/S For those who want to get to Beijing, AirAsia now offered direct route from LCCT to Tianjin. Take a bus or cab to Beijing which is about 2 hours ride.  

6 “pigeons” were squeezed into this “pigeon hole”

Basically, the food-selling concept was the same as AirAsia. There were three carts selling three categories of foods namely fruits, tidbits/junk food/cup noodle, and box rice/porridge. As a matter of fact, I do not eat beef, and mutton but in China, they only eat beef and mutton to warm up their bodies.

My breakfast – A cup noodle with minced beef and spicy soup costs only 5 yuan (RM2.50)

My lunch – Lunch box with cabbage, ham, egg, beef costs me 15 yuan (RM7.50)

By the time I can almost cleared up my food, I already plopped down on my bed and sleep. I can feel the carriage was getting colder as it travelled north. As exhausted I was, I dozed off to sweet dreams in a blink of eye.

Stay tuned for 9-Day of Glorious China Trip – Part 2. Next post will be more on the places of interest i.e. The Forbidden Kingdom, Bird Nest (The Olympics Stadium), Summer Palace, Tiananmen Square, Wang Fu Jing Street.

Apologies for the poor photos quality because cheap digital camera ma!!! Enjoy!

Reasons why we love Hokkien language….

I have been living in the Hokkien dialect predominant society for the past 23 years and I am very proud of it and still very proud of it. I love Hokkien so much not because it’s my mother tongue or it is used in my daily conversation but:

a) Hokkien dialect is funny and full with profanities (not for prudes and goody-goody)

One day, an old man was driving along the road when a policeman wanted him to pull over to the road side.

Policeman: Ah pek, mana lu punya IC (identity card) dan lesen memandu?

Old man: Ai see? Soli, encik. Wa pandu lao phok kar pun ai see ar?

Policeman: Bukan, ah pek. Gua mau itu kad ada muka kedut lu and alamat rumah punya la. Buka dompet lu tengok.

Old man: Oooo….lu nanli sekijap. Wa punya lompet mau koyak …… liap-liap lali guna….sudah 75 tahun loh.

Policeman: *checking on the IC and driver’s licence* Eh ah pek, lu tau apa kesalahan kamu kah?

Old man: Gua ingat lu stop keleta wa mau lompang ma. Tapi lu tarak lompang tapi tanya wa ai see. Wa manyak takut looo….

Policeman: Oi…apa lompang lompang. Lu pandu kereta macam dalam “Tokyo Drift” bahaya la.Ah pek tak boleh macam tu. Nanti langgar kereta lain banyak susah tau, ah pek!!!! Nanti lu betul betul see!

Old man: *scratching head* Ma ta, wa galanti tarak salah hamik su kong wa salah? Wa ada ikut law hali-hali. Lampu melah, wa stop. Lampu hijau, wa jalan. Tali wa nampak papan suluh panlu macam itu,  wa ikut la. Mana wu salah?

Policeman: Papan apa?

Old man: *Pointing delighfully to the road signage*

Policeman: *%#$@*&#*&%!@#$ Chee buy punya ah pek. Gua mau bagi saman.

Old man: Sam ban? Wa ikut law pun luan luan ho wa sam ban. Wa bo ikut, pun ho wa sam ban. Wa eh cuh wu goh chap ji sam ban ko boi heng. Poo kee mak betul!!!!! Ti si ka eh huat?

b) Hokkien dialect probably has influenced Bahasa Malaysia (BM)

*meaning is in English*

1) Mata – Ma ta (policeman)

2) Mana – Mah na (where)

3) Sila – Si la(Yes la)

4) Kira  – Khe la (Calculative)

7) Lori – Loh li (Lorry)

8) Lambada (Eng) – Lam pa la (Balls)

9) Durian – Lui lian (Durian)

10) Topeng  – Toh peng (Overturned)

11) Sabun – Sa bon (Soap)

12) Go astern (Eng) – Gostan (Reverse)

13) Kopi – Kopi (Coffee)

14) Saman  – San ban (Summon)

15) Jilat  – Jee lat (lick/ bored of the food)

16) Lidi – Li di (a broom made from veins of coconut)

17) Cubit  – Chu bit (Pinch)

18) Pasar  – Pa sat (Market)

19) Celaka – Ji la kak (Damn)

 20) Tumpang – Lompang (Car sharing)

 c) Hokkien food si pek ho chiak

Hokkien mee

Hokkien char

Loh bak

Ee fu mee

Hence…………….

We are proud to be Hokkien lang/Penang kia

My Chinese New Year 2009 gathering picture

P/S: All images depicted are borrowed from www.google.com.my. I do not own these images and no copyrighting intended.

 

Of financial woes

Money is the root of all evil as the old sayings goes. But do people really care? Do you care? Do I care? Damn!!!! WE DO NOT CARE. The reason why money is so crucial to us is because the the house prices are going down, forever surging energy prices, volatile gas prices, grocery bills are going up and even entrance to public toilets is not CHEAP (30sen charged) these days. Some people purported money is not important and be contented with what we possessed but will your landlord, bank if you have loans, milkman, newspaper vendor, and stomach think money is not of great magnitude? Everything comes with a significant symbol on it or better known the dollar sign, $$$$$$.  You will know what I mean when you see:

This!

Want to find hookers also must see the prices, ah! Why ah, Russian girls are more expensive than the rest? Perhaps they can moan loudly like those amplifiers or their racks are surprisingly bigger than Pam Anderson, lah!!!

This!!

Even a urine free toilet needs to pay before you can go poo-poo or she-she but in this case, I don’t think one will be able to answer the nature call cause the sign TELLS! It’s screaming URINE FREE across the front entrance. I think they would allow you to go in if your only intention is to wash hands or butts.

This!!!

Citizens may live in darkness or with little lights on so that when the energy bills come, it will put a broad smile on their face.

And this!!!!

See lotsa “bank” notes??? See money??? No, you’re wrong coz you’re looking at the hell notes. Even deads cannot escape themselves from the curse of  ”evil devil money” because….maybe, just maybe, they need money to pay for all the above! Whereas, living persons cannot make any exceptions but to “exchange” the real bank notes for hell notes.

But not this. I’m loving this!

The price list here is very misleading which makes me thought of having 20 pieces of roti canai (RM2), 10 glasses of teh tarik (RM1) and better more, 5 plates of nasi kandar (RM1). Oh…I am loving the price I have to pay for this sumptuous meal. Aww…it’s only a mere RM4!!!!!!! This mamak shop  must be owned by Ananda Krishnan in support of Poverty Assistance Programme.

So…………

With the forever price hiking scenario every year, I personally think a 9-to-5 job salary would not likely be enough in a few years to come. Again, as the old sayings go “save money for a rainy day” and “guard against trouble” reminds me of contigency plan. Hence, I wish writing would generate some income to me soon.

*crossing my fingers* but please…..not the Bush’s way.

P/S: All images depicted are copied from www.google.com.my. I do not own these images and no copyrighting intended.